Alright, here is some real talk for you … and strap in, because this loooong (oops, sorry, haha).
I’ve been thinking a lot about books and stories lately, and maybe going through some author crisis stuff, haha.
Being an author can be really hard.
It takes an enormous amount of work and dedication, often with not a lot of monetary return, it requires endless effort for marketing and publishing, as well as, of course, the most rewarding and wonderful part (for me) of being creative and writing that first wonderful draft (this is the past I love most, along with holding the book in my hands for the first time!).
Basically, as an author, I’ve been trying to figure out what I want in the long term.
I know what stories I want to write next and I’m beyond excited for them, but I’m not a full time writer (sadly, haha) so need to fit my writing around making a living and I often feel dragged every which way, as I figure out how to make these different parts of my life sustainable.
But then, as I’ve been wrestling with a lot of weird mindset stuff this year, I recently finished reading a book that, when I flicked over that final page, made me sob and sob and sob.
Seriously, haha, I cried for like 20 minutes!
This book moved me.
It made me remember why I want to write stories. It reminded me that books are art, and that when they find the perfect reader, they can be magic.
I was so inspired by this piece of art that moved me so profoundly and by this author who is so in control of the experience they wanted to impart to their reader, that it made me feel so excited to be writing my own stories. It made me want to dig in and create my own pieces of art, that may be weird and strange and not for everyone, but I should be confident that they will be for some readers. Haha, I can only dream that a reader might feel, after turning the final page of a book I have written, the same way I did.
Now, I bet you are now wondering … well, what is this magical, perfect book? I shall read it and judge its perfectness! Haha. Look, the book is called The Borrowed by Chan Ho-kei, and it’s a detective story set in Hong Kong. BUT, here’s the thing, it’s weird, because I don’t even know that I’d especially tell everyone to read this book.
I obviously loved it, but I already know it won’t interest everyone, and probably won’t make many people cry. Sure, it’s got a great score on goodreads and appeals to detective book lovers, but it is also a very specific experience with some weird bits, occasional old-fashioned ideas and straight-forward prose.
But it worked for me. And I could write an essay on why that is, on what it was about this book that spoke to me about the human experience and the cycles humanity is caught within throughout the course of history, how it was both hopeful and bleak at the same time, and how clever the writer was, because the book started off feeling shallow (to me) but then ended up layered, complex and with plenty to say about the world and society, and how what is good and bad and right and wrong is ultimately messy.
But I won’t write an essay on the book, because this has already turned into an essay, haha. So my point is, to me specifically, this book felt like art.
And how special is that? To read a book that feels like art!
It makes me want to write my weird, strange stories set in my odd Red Kingdom world to the best of my ability, and put my own stories out in the world. I’ll just need to do that squeezed in between other things, like a day job that makes me money, haha.
Life is tough sometimes, folks, but I think its still worth being creative and appreciating art whenever you can along the way, however you can. It’s worth pursuing your passions whether that is writing, or reading, or maybe … I dunno, watching great tv, cooking or looking after your cat! It doesn’t matter. And so, even though financial strains are tough, and I’ve been feeling very burnt out this year, I’ll keep on going however I can, too. And keep writing and reading books that make me cry.
I hope you are all reading good books that make you cry, too 🙂
THANK YOU FOR READING
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PJ Nwosu writes dark mystery novels set in epic fantasy worlds.
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A vast, rotting city set aflame by Purge House.
A crowd gathers in the shadow of the Red Palace to watch the pyres burn.
A bitter ex-soldier infiltrates the city’s greatest gold house, determined to locate the slave he seeks.
Diem Lakein might not like what he finds.
Welcome to the Red Kingdom